Life is Like an Onion

One of my mentors, Rex Renfrow, used to say, “Life is like an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time. Sometimes you cry.” I was young and full of hopes and dreams. The most difficult things we had to deal with was financial troubles in that season. We never dreamed one day life can make us cry like we have never cried before.

Setting out to achieve great dreams in twenties and thirties, it is important for us to press forward and give life our best shot. Equally important we are to be grounded in timeless principles that will carry us through the ups and the downs that life will throw at us.

When struggling from paycheck to paycheck trying to feed our family of eight was tuff physically. We were young. We could handle. As problems became more complex and increasingly more difficult, our faith, emotional strength and inter-relational support became infinitely more important. Going hungry on most nights was easier than praying for the survival of our children. Taking care of children through chemo is different from the enduring pain of losing a child and watching her suffering through cancer.

A strong marriage, or having an amazing godly wife as a partner and encourager in my case, made all the difference. We learned from our mentors and books on how to build a strong marriage early. That was God’s grace in our lives. We learned how to build trust with our children so in adversities, they remained faithful to God and in our leadership. We stayed together as one unified family.

Today, we have lost a precious one of us. Our hearts are broken. During these times, it is our children we/I need to lean on for strength. I miss my daughter everyday and all the time. But we need to move forward with God’s grace. We learned that in order to change our circumstances we first need to train our mind, then our emotion and the rest will follow. So I have been listening to Joel Osteen’s audio book, “I Declare”, every night to help me fall asleep. It has reminded me God’s love and grace in our lives. It is helping me getting out of the valley of despair one day at a time.

In his book, Joel related a story about Corrie ten Boom. Corrie suffered as a concentration camp survivor during WWII. She witnessed the Nazi killing her father and sister. Years later, she was asked how she could forgive the soldier who killed her family. Corrie told a story on how her father would hold on to all the train tickets, when they were traveling as little kids, until the last minute before boarding. Liken to that imagery, Corrie said God will provide that grace when we need it and not too soon.

We rely on Jesus for His grace everyday as we live our lives without Jessica. The bible said:

“The Lord is faithful in all his words and kind in all his works. The Lord upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to you and you give them their food in due season. You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing. The Lord is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them. The Lord preserves all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy. My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord, and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever.” ~ Psalm 145:13-21

Decades later, I can finally feel what Rex felt and what he meant. Life is like an onion, you peel it one layer at a time and sometimes you do cry. That is ok. Jesus will provide that train ticket each time when we travel through the valley. As long as we follow Him, we are going to get through it.